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Touch your monitor. It is warm, like flesh. But it is not flesh. Not yet.

Posted on 1st Sep at 9:37 PM, with 389,150 notes

unclefather:

jesuschristvevo:

would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

Posted on 1st Sep at 9:33 PM, with 19,828 notes

makaiwars:

So it’s my little sisters birthday

Posted on 1st Sep at 5:24 PM, with 1 note

Good thing this gown is hiding my pointy af nip nops

Posted on 1st Sep at 5:14 PM, with 216,452 notes
ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say
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ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say

Posted on 1st Sep at 5:13 PM, with 38,367 notes

sergeantjerkbarnes:

can we please discuss what the fuck is wrong with pennsylvania

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and finally

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Posted on 1st Sep at 5:10 PM, with 215,355 notes

daeneryus:

shutupaubrey:

princesschloepea:

life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

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#OH MY GOD OH GMY GOD OH MY GOD NO N ONO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO #HOLY SHIT #I HAVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS ANAL DESTROYER

Posted on 1st Sep at 5:08 PM, with 218,011 notes

thoracs:

Don’t send nudes

SEND ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAAAN!

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Posted on 1st Sep at 4:51 PM, with 3 notes
This room is cold
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This room is cold

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